COVID-19: Faithfulness in Murky Waters

There are many sad things included in this time of pandemic and many changes that are hard to swallow. If you are reading this now and are feeling sad or hopeless, anxious or fearful – that is hard and I am sorry you’re feeling that way. To many degrees I can never understand what you may be going through. But in my own little world, I am feeling some of those things.

Matt and I have gone through a fair share of crises for being in our 20s (and I mean Matt mostly) and to some extent feel used to life’s plans getting flipped upside down. That is taking the edge off a bit and perhaps we aren’t yet feeling the full effect of this pandemic’s toll – almost certain. Yet, I know I can look back and say,

“Wow, God. I thought I wanted it one way but you made such good out of another.”

Again and again I have said that. Not because it is easy, but because it is undeniably and even painfully true. I believe in and have witnessed good prevailing over evil, death losing its sting and hope being found through pain.

Looking back at God’s faithfulness does not require a lack of pain. On the contrary, it can be quite painful as it stirs up past losses, anxieties and trauma like stirring up the muck at the bottom of a once clear stream. But the beauty of faithfulness is that it brought us through. Even though holding onto faithfulness can feel like death gripping door handles while embracing for impact, it is the vehicle which brought us through. It is the vehicle bringing us through.

————————————

A lot of what is happening now is hard. Especially internally. Not many of us like to wade deep into the waters of the reality of death. It’s mucky out there. We prefer to play on the shore and distract ourselves and honestly, that’s about all we can handle sometimes. It’s crazy enough on shore. But this pandemic has plopped us right out there in the murky waters.

We are realizing we are physically fragile.

This pandemic has stirred up emotions that cloud our judgment of how to treat others sharing our quarantined home. It has stirred up loneliness that makes it hard to reach out to others even when they are right there next to us. It has stirred up resentment and guilt between those serving from home and those serving by going out to work and everything in between.

We are realizing we are emotionally fragile.

This pandemic has stirred up questions that are hard to answer. And waiting for an answer, we hold God at an arms-length away. Do I believe that goodness can truly prevail? Is God truly good? Why death? Whose idea was that? What is the point of pain? What is the hope? It is quite murky.

We are realizing we are spiritually fragile.

————————————

Yet, there may be muck at the bottom of this steam of life, but we step in and can feel there’s a foundation below. Our feet squish in and sink but suddenly we find that we can still stand. God’s faithfulness is the solid rock below.

“God, the one and only – I’ll wait as long as he says. Everything I hope for comes from him, so why not? He’s solid rock under my feet, breathing room for my soul…” – Psalm 62, MSG

The waters may turn murky around us. We can’t see as clearly as before. But this stream has life and movement. It always has. It continues to wash past us and brings clearer waters with it. Even the thick muck in the middle – death itself – is washed away.

Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them. – Jesus (John 7:38, NIV)

Let the waters wash over you.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

God is faithful.

And faithfulness is found in you.

Share it with others. And if this was helpful to you, feel free to share.

With love, Tayler